Why Your Billboard (And Your Marketing) Is Failing the Five-Second Test
Most marketing fails before the customer even finishes reading the first sentence. In a standout episode of The StoryBrand Podcast, Donald Miller takes a cynical, hilarious, and ultimately brilliant look at one of the most misused mediums in advertising: the billboard. Whether you are buying space on a highway or just trying to fix the header on your website, the lessons here on clarity versus cleverness are essential for anyone trying to grow a business.
Miller argues that roughly 90 percent of billboards are a total waste of money. The reason is simple. Business owners and creative agencies often prioritize being cute or clever over being clear. They want to win design awards or show off their wit, but they forget that their audience is traveling at 70 miles per hour. If a passenger has to squint, think, or solve a riddle to understand what you do, you have already lost.
The Double Standard of Brand Awareness
One of the most insightful moments in the episode is Miller’s breakdown of the 3M duct tape billboard. It is a visually striking piece that looks like it is held up by actual tape. For a household name like 3M, this works. They have the luxury of spending millions on simple product awareness.
However, small to medium-sized businesses cannot play by those rules. If you are launching a new product, you cannot afford to be abstract. You must clearly state the problem you solve and the offer you are making. A household name can afford to be artistic; a growing brand must be functional.
The Trap of the "High Concept" Ad
Miller walks through several real-world examples that illustrate the "cleverness trap." From a casino using giant 3D ears to signify a "grin from ear to ear" to a real estate ad featuring a man with a chainsaw, the verdict is usually the same: confusion.
- The Casino Fail: If it takes three minutes of explanation to get the joke, the billboard failed in the first three seconds.
- The Chainsaw Disaster: When a real estate ad makes you think about buying a power tool instead of a house, you have successfully marketed for your competitor.
- The Apple TV Mistake: Even giant tech companies fall for this, choosing "creative" text-only layouts over showing the famous actors that actually drive viewership.
The Power of Zero Cognitive Load
The most effective example Miller highlights is also the most boring: a billboard for Total Wine. It features a picture of the product, an exit number, and a clear description of what they sell. No jokes, no riddles, just pure information.
This leads to the core philosophy of the StoryBrand framework: Zero Cognitive Load. Your marketing should require no mental effort from the customer. They should know exactly what you offer and how to get it within seconds of contact.
The Golden Nugget
"You can be cute or clever, but never at the expense of being clear."
Final Thoughts on Buc-ee’s and Consistency
Even the success stories Miller mentions, like the gas station giant Buc-ee’s, rely on a specific formula. While some of their messaging gets too cute, they win through sheer volume and a hyper-focus on solving a specific problem: clean restrooms. They use consistent colors, simple fonts, and repeat the message every few miles.
Consistency and clarity will outperform a "brilliant" creative idea every single time. If you want to stop wasting your marketing budget, start by stripping away the inside jokes and the flowery language. Tell people what you do, tell them why it makes their life better, and tell them where to turn the car around.