Stop Trying to Be a Raw Vegan Overnight (And Other Resolution Realities)
The Annual Masochism Ritual
It’s the middle of January. Be honest: how’s that “New You” coming along? If you’re anything like the rest of the human population—or Gabe Howard, the delightfully self-deprecating host of Inside Mental Health—you’ve probably already crashed into the wall of reality.
Gabe admits right off the bat that he’s been setting resolutions since childhood. The usual suspects: eat better, sleep hygiene, lose weight. And the result? "Anxiety, depression, sadness, and braiding myself that I missed the goal."
We’re all Charlie Brown. The New Year is Lucy. And that football? It gets yanked away every single time. Yet, we keep lining up to kick it. Why?
Jody Wellman, a positive psychology expert (and apparently a glutton for punishment as a four-time guest), calls it the "Fresh Start Effect." We are psychologically wired to love a reset button. Monday feels like a mini-rebirth; January 1st feels like a total reincarnation. But here’s the rub: we use that fresh start to set ourselves up for spectacular, flaming failure.
The "Super Mario" Mistake
Here is the smartest thing I heard in this entire episode, and it wasn’t some complex psychological theory. It was a video game analogy.
Gabe pointed out that when we set resolutions, we usually start at the Boss Level.
"It would be like if we were playing a video game, and level one was the hardest... imagine if the final boss on the final level right before Princess Peach jumps into Mario's arms, that's your first introduction to the game. Nobody'd play it."
Exactly. We don't decide to eat an apple a day. We decide, as Gabe joked, to become "raw vegans" on January 2nd after eating garbage for thirty years. We skip the tutorial, skip the easy levels, and go straight to fighting Bowser with zero experience.
Then we wonder why we’re game over by February (or let’s be real, January 12th).
Identity > Outcomes
So, if the "Fresh Start" is a trap and big goals are a setup, what are we supposed to do? Just rot?
Wellman suggests a shift that feels a little less like a drill sergeant and a little more like... actual human behavior. Instead of obsessing over the outcome (losing 17 pounds), focus on the identity.
- Old Way: "I will meditate for 30 minutes every morning."
- New Way: "I am the kind of person who takes five minutes for herself."
See the difference? It’s subtle, but it stops the shame spiral. If you miss a day of the 30-minute rigid goal, you’re a failure. If you view yourself as "someone who moves their body," a 20-minute walk counts just as much as a gym session. You’re building evidence of who you are, not just checking a box.
Permission to Quit (Gracefully)
This might be my favorite take from the whole conversation. Sometimes, the goal isn't wrong—it just sucks for you.
We hold onto these zombie goals because we don't want to be quitters. But Wellman brings up the concept of "lost possible selves." Maybe you thought you were going to be a sailor. You tried it. You hated the water. It cost too much money.
Let it go.
Grieving the version of yourself that didn't happen is actually healthier than white-knuckling a goal you don't even want anymore. It’s okay to say, "I gave it a go, I’m not that person," and move on. That’s not failure; that’s data.
Golden Nugget
"We live in a world that your questions create. So why not ask a bunch of questions about... what was going well? You just stop doing the unpacking of all the ways you failed."
The Monday Reset
If you’ve already blown your resolutions, don’t wait for 2027 (or whenever the next nice round number is). The "Fresh Start Effect" works on Mondays, too. It works on random Tuesdays.
You can restart right now. Just... maybe don't try to fight Bowser on the first try this time. Eat a banana. Call it a win.
I'm going to go eat a vegetable. Just one. Don't push me.
Listen to Inside Mental Health: https://podranker.com/podcast/inside-mental-health