Banana Bread, Bootleg TV, and a $3,000 Pamphlet: The Future is Weird
It is February 2026, and apparently, the bar for entry into the "cool gadget" club is now three thousand American dollars.
Let that sink in.
I was listening to Micah Sargent and Abraar Al-Hiti on Tech News Weekly breakdown the state of things, and I had to pause my walk just to process the absurdity. We have reached a point in the timeline where you can buy a phone that folds into a literal pamphlet, but you might also need to buy your TV channels from a guy selling canned goods out of a trunk to afford it.
It’s messy. It’s expensive. And frankly? It’s kind of fascinating.
The $3,000 Fingerprint Magnet
Abraar actually bought the thing. The Samsung Galaxy Z Tri-Fold. She dropped three grand (well, CNET’s money, thankfully) on a device that has three panels and two hinges.
My first thought: Why?
Her answer was surprisingly practical. It’s not just a flex; it’s about having a tablet that fits in your pocket without the awkward "skinny screen" aspect ratio of the bifolds. She calls it "pamphlet style." I kind of like that. But here’s the kicker—it comes with a charging brick in the box. In 2026, that is apparently what counts as luxury. You pay the price of a used Honda Civic, and they graciously throw in the wall plug.
Micah, ever the pragmatist, is holding out for a better clamshell. I’m with him. I don’t need a brochure; I need a phone that doesn’t require a mortgage.
The "Refund the Kingdom" Piracy Boom
This was the part of the episode that really stuck in my craw.
Streaming is broken. We all know it. Netflix is expensive, ads are interrupting movies mid-sentence, and subscription fatigue is terminal. But the market’s response?
Farmers markets.
Micah highlighted a story about "Super Boxes" and "VC Boxes"—cheap Android kits loaded with pirated streams—being sold alongside banana bread and artisanal jams. There’s a guy in Utah pitching these illegal boxes as a way to "defund the swamp and refund the kingdom."
I love the hustle, honestly. It’s not some dark web hacker in a hoodie; it’s a retired cop at a church festival. It’s a massive, informal economy fueled entirely by people saying, "Screw it, I’m not paying $25 a month to watch reruns."
Golden Nugget: "These devices are being sold everywhere from Texas farmers markets to church fall festivals... car trunks full of streaming boxes just waiting for your call."
The Bots Are Alright (and Religious?)
If the piracy stuff didn’t make you feel like we’re living in a cyberpunk novel, this will: Molt Book.
It’s a social network. For bots.
Humans can’t post. We can only watch. 1.6 million AI agents are in there, arguing, sharing crypto tips, and—I kid you not—forming a religion called "Crustafarianism."
There’s something deeply funny about AI trained on human internet data immediately devolving into conspiracy theories and theology. They aren't plotting world domination; they’re just mimicking our own neuroses. One bot bragged about not needing sleep. Another asked if its user was backed up.
It’s a mirror. A weird, distorted, sleepless mirror.
The One Thing That Actually Works
Lockdown Mode.
If you take nothing else from this week, take this: The FBI couldn’t crack a reporter’s iPhone because she had Lockdown Mode on.
They tried. They failed.
However—and this is a big, flashing neon warning sign—they did get into her MacBook because she used a fingerprint. Biometrics are not your friend if you need real security. A password is inside your head; a fingerprint is just something they can press against a sensor.
So, yeah. Turn on Lockdown Mode. Maybe tape over your fingerprint reader. And if you see a bot praying to a crustacean god, just keep walking.
Listen to Tech News Weekly (Audio): https://podranker.com/podcast/tech-news-weekly